Balderdash!!!

i saved my answers from the last time i played Balderdash and decided that i should probably post them on here. it was only the second time i played. my imagination doesnt necessarily work in a way to trick people into believing my answers are correct. but they sure do make my opponents laugh and thats what's the most fun at 1:30 am. Ha!

1. sniggle - popular activity among palestinian children who release one pig to run amok in their local ymca sauna room.

2. F.H.S. - Filthy Hand Sandwich

3. Face Four (film synopsis) - Sometimes you've got 4 pets. Sometimes you want their faces instead of your own face. And sometimes its hard to keep them alive when you've got all their faces in health hibernation jars ya dummy!

4. Testologist - a female doctor with an awe-inspiring gift that enables her to tell when a man's testicles are twisted into a futuristic pretzel shaped situation of doom.

5. P.O.O.F.F. - Pardon Our Octopusses For Farting

6. It is illegal in Sweden to train your..........actual pony to give itself ponytails.

7. Tzizt - medical emergency that occurs when a mosquito lands on an already formed human zit, sucks blood and pus from it thus increasing the zit's previous size into an unholy facial abomination.

8. Leslie Mary (Description of a Famous Person) - "could spread those silky thangs till the early birds come chirping."

9. T.S.C.W. - Totally Scrumptious Cock Wrinkle

10. It is illegal in a New York City courtroom to......release 4 bats into the courtroom during their mating season allowing them to procreate something ungodly yet still fun!

11. forgot the title for this movie synopsis - when you spread'em they just dont quit. unless you do, Larry.

macaroni and cheese and....

....peas is what i had for dinner tonite after school. it was the tiny shell kind of noodles and the peas would sometimes fit perfectly in them. one of the shells held a whole peppercorn that i bit into and got stuck in one of my MOLARS. when i would try to lick it out of there with my tongue, it would just continuously burn the TIP of IT.

any questions regarding this predicament will be fielded as soon as i possibly can. i bid you f*ckin adieu.

oh yeah....

....i also hung out with daniel, the drummer from Norma Jean last nite. really rad guy. i wanted to meet up with them because i had screenprinted posters for the show that was supposed to have happened tonite, but became cancelled due to the hurricane. he was way into them and hopefully i will be doing a full tour poster for them when they go out again in another month or two(well as long as the other dudes in the band are into it). that would be totally sick and amazing that more of my work would get out there. i will post a pic of the poster i did for them later because im too tired to do it right now you idiots.

Austin's Pumpkin....

....pies were delicious this evening. they consisted of crust, pumpkin gush and an ess-load of brown sugar. when he took them out of the oven and placed them on the window sill to cool, the whole neighborhood went insane. the unavoidable aroma was in the air and the thieves of the night began to follow the scent.

f*ck em'. they aint gettin none.

This evening....

....i ate a salad that consisted of:

-lettuce
-purple onions
-cucumbers
-carrots
-garbanzo beans
-tomatos
-a little bit o'cheese
-balsamic vinegar from a mountain somewhere

potato chips were also invited along at some point.

gross!

This is What I Did During Hurricane Wilma

Lost and Found

Once again I have assisted my community.

There comes a time once a month where my boss Peter and I visit a giant food/beverage/miscellaneous crap supercenter called Costco. We buy supplies for the salon such as sodas, beers, wines, gums, towels, etc. On our drive back i noticed a strange cream-colored creatured running around in this front yard that was about fifty feet ahead of us. I didn't know what it was at first cause i wear glasses. Anyways, we eventually got closer to it and it turned out to be a siamese cat and a very clean looking one at that. It gave me a big smile on my face and i was nothing short of impressed.

After helping unload the truck, I was now free to go. I began my ritualistic walk down Edgewater Drive to catch the bus home. A few blocks along my way i noticed a Lost Cat Flyer on the window of the local stamp shop. It was for a cat very similar to the miniature tan monster that i had seen only 30 minutes ago. I decided that i should give them a call and let them in on a "quicktip." They were grateful to have recieved my call and were leaving to go find the precious little beast.

They called me back an hour later and told me they had found the little guy. he was only a few houses away from where I had seen him. I couldn't believe that it was the same little creeper.

Its funny when a ridiculous situation like that eventually turns itself into something with a bigger meaning. i like that feeling alot. I wish it happened to me quite more actually.